How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
