Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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