Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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