I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
