So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
