walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
