He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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