i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
