I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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