Pants 0. Shit 1.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
