Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
