we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
