You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
