no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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