i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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