Nicole vs. Life
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
