he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize