$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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