Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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