I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How does one acquire holy water?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
