Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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