i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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