What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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