Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
