He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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