Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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