She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
