This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
