Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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