On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
