Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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