i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
