3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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