I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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