Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
we should paint friendship bongs
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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