please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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