Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
