ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
