So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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