Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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