Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
