I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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