ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
