it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
