five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
