i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she peed on how many people?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
