is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
