fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
