Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
