I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
